2014 goals

So I just finished reading a book titled "The Mole People."  The book is comprised of short chapters detailing the lives of the New York City homeless as told from the author's investigative perspective.

My main take away from the book is that the homeless community is just that.  A community.  Like us above ground dwellers, most "mole people" see life underground as a place they feel safe and have a group that they call their own.  A lot of people who try living above ground actually end up living back in the tunnels because it's not so judgy down there.  They have leaders, communal jobs, and don't care/ask what happened in people's pasts.  They just focus on one day at a time.  

I read an article about an apartment fire that happened earlier this week in midtown.  A woman was out on her balcony with her husband and baby to avoid smoke inhalation and was tweeting things like "Big fire in our building.  Hubby, son, and me seem safe on the balcony."

...tweeting?!?... during a life-threatening fire???????  

What has the world come to?  I deleted my work email from my phone, have been taking semi-real lunches, and trying to leave work on time every day in an attempt to do some actual life things.  Trying not be glued to my phone has definitely been a challenge especially since I use it so much for work, but I have to say that I am feeling better about it each day.  

For 2014, I want to get back to the basics and focus on foundation:

- spend more time with the people I love 
- get off my phone/computer and be present... be awake
- not worry about other people and spend more time focusing on myself and my happiness

Happy new year, everyone!
MK

I struggle with consistency

It's been a very long while since I've written.  Since my last post, here are a few highlights:

1.  I played a solo (actually duet) with an orchestra!  It was so much fun and I feel so lucky to have been asked to do something like that.  I was also really excited because my mom came into town to hear it!

2.  Went to Puerto Rico with Dan, Rick, and Andrew.  It was lots of fun and I highly recommend staying in old San Juan if you are traveling there.  One of Andrew's friends lives there so he nicely volunteered to be our tour guide for the week which was a special treat.  Just thinking about it makes me want to be back on vacation.

                              

3.  Celebrated Dan's 30th Birthday!  Ice cream cake and a new espresso machine!

4.  Left my CBUS store in the beginning of July and transitioned to being the Operations Manager at the SoHo location.  Going into a strictly operations role has been very different and so far and a major challenge for me.  That being said, I'm learning a lot and am excited for things to come.  Look at the cutest card one of my girls gave me!  There is a real kleenex glued to the front!

5.  I went to the Lake Placid Chamber Music Festival last week.  It was very nice being there and I remembered how much I love violin and miss music.  I took a month off of playing because I worked for about 30 days straight, 14 hour days.  I think this going back and forth with music will be a struggle I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life.

6.  Jackie and I went to Toronto for work earlier this week for an operations workshop lead by the manager at Bloor Street.  She was amazing and I got to share some of my best practices with her team as well as pick up a few good ideas that I'm excited to implement when I go back to work tomorrow.   Jackie and I also got to play tourist and did some relaxing time as well.  :)

less work, more life

For the last few years, my focus has solely on work.  Since I've come back to Club Monaco, I've been trying to get myself to where I need to be to take over the store for the time if and when Brandee leaves.  I've been working long hours (not a new/good thing) and really trying to better myself as a store manager.  Things are going very well for me at work and I think that things can only go up from where I am right now.

HOWEVER, I have been thinking...

I think I'm going to stop doing what I'm doing.  I mean, I'm still going to focus on doing my job well and working hard when I'm there, but I am going to have a better work/life balance.  I am constantly tired and borderline sick all of the time.  I want the main part of my life to be about music, friends, spending time with Dan, making food...  doing the things that I love, which I realized (this week) requires me to work less, stress less.  It's not that I don't want to be promoted because I do; however, I've never felt content just being where I am for any given time, but I'd like to start.  Right now.  There was a time where I loved work and wanted to work all of the time.  This is no longer the case so I'm going to start prioritizing my life to put my outside-of-work-happiness first.

To begin my new major life decision, I had a really good practice session last night followed by making some super yummy sweet potato, red lentil, curry soup.

I read my book, fell asleep watching tv with Dan by my side, and woke up this morning in my sunny, Brooklyn bedroom with Sangria curled up next to my head.  

This is the life that I want.  This is the life I will have.

musical thoughts

I am in the process of trying out a viola!  The prospect of getting a new viola is super exciting but also a little terrifying because it's not only a big investment, but a representation of my future self in music.  I have a viola that I use but getting a nicer viola means, to me, that I am committing to stay in music and be more active.  I love the idea of this but I just need to make time which is easier said than done.

My friend Maureen, an amazing violist, was kind enough to contact a friend who is selling several violas and we met a few weeks ago so I could try them.  My friend, James, was also kind enough to come along with me for an extra set of ears.

The viola I picked is a bit out of my price range but I'm falling in love with it more and more every time I play it.  I am getting more mentally serious about learning the Brandenburg and decided to take a break from violin until after the concert is done.  I even gave my lovely violin to James to use in the mean time so she doesn't just sit in the corner of my room.  If anyone is in NYC and wants to come, the concert is at the beginning of May!

xoxo- MK

home sweet home

I recently got back from visiting my mom in Wisconsin.  While I was there I realized how much I miss seeing my mom in person!

Unlike most people, we talk on the phone every day and use skype on a semi-regular basis so I feel like I "see" my mom all the time.  I hadn't been home since last Christmas and my sister, Jenna, and I haven't been home at the same time for 2 years.  Jenna and I talked about going home more often than once a year so we're already thinking about a trip home at some point in spring time.

One of my mom's cousins found these photos of my dad with Jenna and me as babies and sent them to her.  We put them together to get the whole picture.

I also got to see Jacki!  I haven't seen her for over a year either so it was great to catch up, see her new apartment, and meet her new cat- who has no name and is really, really mean... but I still liked her.

xoxo- MK

2012 reading list

In 2011 I decided that I didn't read enough.  I got held up reading things I didn't like (I have this awful mental block where I can't start another book until I finish the current one.  This is usually an arduous process and usually leads to me throwing some sort of tantrum) and in the fall I got a tv which, after not having cable for years, became the thing I looked forward to doing every day (letting my brain turn to mush while watching Grey's Anatomy and the entire series of Felicity).

I gave myself a goal to read 15 books in 2012.  I ended up reading 28!  I'm so impressed with myself.

Books 2012

1. Wind Up Bird Chronicles- H. Murakami

2. Little Women- L.M. Alcott 

3. Norwegian Wood- H. Murakami

4. After the Quake- H. Murakami

5. After Dark- H. Murakami

6. A Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao- J. Diaz

7.  The Broom of the System- D.F. Wallace

8.  Identical Strangers- E. Schein & P. Bernstein

9.  The Art of Eating In- C. Erway

10.  Blindness- J. Saramago

11.  A Wild Sheep Chase- H. Murakami

12.  Room- E. Donoghue

13.  Wild- C. Strayed 

14.  1Q84- H. Murakami

15.  Lolita- V. Nabokov

16.  Everything Beautiful Came After- S. Van Booey

17.  The Perks of Being a Wallflower- S. Chbosky

18.  Stranger Than Fiction- C. Palahniuk

19.  The Time Traveler's Wife- A. Niffenegger

20.  Dog On It- S. Quinn

21.  Thereby Hangs a Tail- S. Quinn

22. To Fetch a Thief- S. Quinn

23.  The Dog Who Knew Too Much- S. Quinn

24.  A Fistful of Collars- S. Quinn

25.  A Cat Was Involved- S. Quinn

26.  The Humbling- P. Roth

27.  American Pastoral- P. Roth

28.  The Psychopath Test- J. Ronson

If you can't tell, I really like Murakami.  The world that his characters live in is surreal and incredibly imaginative.  I also really liked Quinn's books.  You will like them too if you like books told from an animal's perspective.  Also, I finally read Lolita.  It confused the hell out of me.  Feeling bad for a pedofile is something I didn't think would ever happen.  

I liked so many of the books I read and would really recommend most of them.  Except Little Women.  I really hated Little Women.  

Since my commute to work is at least an hour I have plenty of time to read on the train.  After I surpassed my original goal of 15 books, I wanted to double my goal and read 30 books before the end of the year; however, sometime in early December I didn't have a free hand to hold my book, so I started listening to an episode of "This American Life" and was reminded of how much I love Ira Glass.  He's such an amazing journalist and I find his voice to be very soothing during underground rush hour traffic.  Listening to his voice drowns out my own thoughts of kicking someone for leaning against the pole so noone else can use it.  Consequently, the last 2-3 weeks has been spent catching up on TAL episodes that I've missed over the last year or so and not reading Franny and Zoey of which I am 2/3 of the way through.

Happy New Year everyone!  

My new goal is 20 books and to catch up to current TAL episodes- I'm 6 months behind...

xoxo

MK

work.sandy.montreal.music.

I totally forgot to write about this, but I have a new (old) job!  I'm working at Club Monaco again and am so glad to be back.  Anthropologie turned out to be not such a good fit for me.  Since I've been back, I started working at the SoHo location and was recently moved/promoted to the Columbus Ave store.  It's a really great place for me and will definitely help me have more exposure with corporate members.  The commute is longer than I'd like, but I'm getting a lot of reading done so I'm not complaining.

Hurricane Sandy happened.  All of the stores were closed for 2 days (the downtown stores were closed longer because they didn't have power until the end of the week) and I was really happy because the impromptu time off coincided with my annual fall-to-winter-transition sickness.  I definitely needed the extra time to rest and felt much better when I went back to work.  Aaron, Dan, and I spent some quality time hanging out and I got to crush them at Scrabble which was loads of fun.

Also, Dan and I went to Montreal shortly after the hurricane which was a nice little get away.  Dan gave me the trip for my birthday which was super sweet.  It's only 6 hours away so we opted to drive instead of fly.  I was paranoid before we left because of the major gas shortage but it all worked out well.  We stayed in this super swanky hotel in the middle of downtown so we were able to walk everywhere which was very convenient.  We saw Old Montreal, the Quebec Club Monaco (my request of course), the Notre Dame Basilica, went to a Scandinavian relaxation bath house, and did a ton of walking around.  I'd love to go back because there were a lot of things that we didn't have time to do.

In other news, I'm doing a ton of playing right now (probably too much as usual) and am feeling very run down.  I say this to myself all the time, but I'm going to try to slow down once I get through all the concerts I'm doing right now.  Last year this lead to me getting shingles which was no fun at all.  Maybe pacing myself will be my new year's resolution.  I am actually really excited that I was asked to play a viola solo in a concert in May so I've been thinking about cutting back after December is over and just focusing on that for the spring time.  We shall see.  

next chapter

I'm currently going through an extremely calm meltdown.

On Sunday, Matt broke up with me.  I was, and am, devastated.  The person who I thought was my person is not my person anymore.  Thank Jebus that my dear roommate was home to pull me out of complete darkness.  After crying for a few hours I moved on to the angry stage where I felt very productive and desperately wanted to figure out my current, complicated living situation and move on with my life.

So, that same day I went to look at an apartment in Brooklyn (5 stops further on the same train) with Sean.  Upon entering the apt I wasn't super amazed since my current apartment is much more put together.  However, when I went into the bedroom I felt a certain sense of calm.  The room will fit my things perfectly and there's a CLOSET!!!!  For those who don't know, this is a functional, usually enclosed area where one stores their belongings such as clothing.  I haven't had a closet for the last 2 years and I can't wait to have one again.  The room has a huge front window which is super sunny which is great and it's on the FIRST FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  No more 6th floor walk up!  Yippee!  I really don't want to move but once it happens I think I'll feel better about everything.  Plus, my future roommates are super sweet.  I hugged them after I looked at the place and told them that Sangria and I wanted to live there for sure.  Countdown.  12 days.

As sad as I am, I have always been a firm believer in things happening for a reason.  Matt and I aren't meant to be right now and in my heart I know that.  Matt and I have been dating on and off/good friends for 10 years.  That's not something that I would ever throw away.  No matter what, Matt and I will always be friends and I am comforted knowing that.    

facebook photo nostalgia

I'm sure that I'm not the only person who has gone back and looked at FB photos from 5+ years ago.  I did that tonight and got all smooshy and weepy inside.

Taking a jaunt down facebook memory lane reminded me of some great, impactful experiences and wonderful people.

The summer of 2006 was one of the best times of my life.  

In 2007 I was in a band!!!

moved to Canada,

and had the last Christmas with my dad,

... AND also started dating MattE again!! (2008 was a big year for me)

In 2009 I gave my first masters recital,

had so much fun with some amazing Canadian people,

and went to Colorado for the first time and cried when I had to leave,

In 2010 I took a ton of trips to NYC,

and had a fun/sad going away party when I left Canada and moved to NYC.

There are so many more things that I remembered as I looked through photos but there isn't good FB photo evidence to share with you all.  

All of the things after 2010 don't make me feel all that nostalgic since they're too recent.  Give me another year or two and I'm sure that I'll be blubbering about when I moved to NYC and when I decided to leave Club Monaco, etc.  

Damn you, facebook timeline!!!

was I wrong? ...I don't think so.

Why do some people feel the need to be right all the time and others don't? Does it give the righter satisfaction to know that the wrongers are wrong, in turn, making themselves feel better? When right, does the righter rub it in the wronger's face, and if so, does that really help matters?

I don't think that anyone likes being wrong, but I do know that a lot of people don't feel the urgent need to state their case about why they are right and just bite their tongue, perhaps choosing to pass on that particular battle.

Others are always vocal about any wronging that may be occurring, justified or not.

What is this? And, why? And how does one stop this madness?

According to Debbie Mandel,

- Develop a good self-concept. Focus inward on your specific and special contribution. Cultivate a personal identity; then you won’t need to assert it.
- Try not to interrupt while other people speak; pay attention to your body language. For example, don’t roll your eyes.
- When you disagree with an opinion, summarize the other person’s point of view first. Make sure you understand his perspective before you present your own.
- Don’t be afraid to make a mistake and be wrong. Learn from being wrong.
- The truth is fluid. What is right today may be wrong tomorrow. Just look at the history of medicine!
- Observe your feelings with family, friends and colleagues. How does being right make you feel and how does letting other people be right too make you feel?
- Keep your emotional communication limited to two minutes; otherwise you risk preaching and venting.
- Align your actions with your words so that people can evaluate your points and trust you. Walk the walk.